Alleged Crime- Concealing a sexual pleasure weapon.
Malia: I do believe that then and there Michael David Johnson committed the crime of concealing a sexual pleasure weapon in his pants.
MJ: You are going to use my own arrest warrant sex move on me?
Malia: Mr. Johnson, this is not a game. This is a matter of top secret pleasure security!
MJ: How do you know I have a sexual pleasure weapon in my pants if it is concealed?
Malia: I have been checking out your package as part of my investigation.
Malia: Does it turn you on that I have been stalking you/investigating your package?
MJ: I will tell you nothing infidel!
Malia: Infidel? This infidel is about to go horny jihad on the pleasure weapon you have in your pants!
MJ: I will use my weapon if you come after me!
Malia: Well I have a special place to put your weapon, to defuse it, called my, uhm, vaginarator.
MJ: Suck it pig!
Malia: You think I’m a pig?
MJ: No baby! One of the negative nicknames for a police officer is a pig.
Malia: I know, but can I at least be a cute pig?
MJ: Redo….Suck it cute pig!
Malia: Yah. Are you willing to turn yourself in?
MJ: Never! As a sexy beautiful girl once told me “I’m not going down on you without a fight!”
Malia: Uhm, can you turn yourself in?
MJ: Why would I turn myself in to a corrupt sex officer?
Malia: I know a cool sexy bad boy like you would never turn yourself in, but if you will turn yourself in, I promise you won’t regret it!
MJ: You mean you are not going to threaten to come get me?
Malia: I would threaten to come get you. I want to threaten to come get you, but I can’t right now. You’ll see why I can’t come get you when you turn yourself in to me in the bedroom.
MJ: Is this a trick to get me to turn myself in sex cop?
Malia: If you want to unload your pleasure weapon into my vaginarator, you have to come to me. I need you to turn yourself. I’m not playing mind games with you. I made a mistake in my MJ sex arrest warrant planning. I need you to come to me please baby?
MJ: I am your “Baby”? What happened to me being this bad boy , who is concealing a sexual pleasure weapon?
Malia: We are on the clock. You are my baby and I want to suck and fuck your pleasure weapon until our babies nanny goes off the clock in 2 hours. I pumped breast milk. I planned baby sleep schedules. I got up early. I have edible fucking panties on! I turned our bedroom into a mother fucking sex den for crying out loud! I can’t come get you. I am pregnant Michael David Johnson, which means my emotions are all over the place, and I am feisty as hell! Do you want to deal with a full blown “Maliacane” situation or what? When I’m pregnant you know there is one thing and one thing only that helps to balance me out and keeps me relaxed. What is that one thing? SEX!!! Now come knock on our bedroom door and say “Trick or treat. Do you have panties on to eat?”, and let’s get it on like it is the last time we will ever get it on!
MJ: I’m texting this with a smile on my face. That said…..On my arrest warrant for your foreplay situation I was a lot more playful with it. You are very aggressive my love.
Malia: Baby, back in the day you were arrested by the FBI twice and the Louisiana state police once. During any of those 3 arrests were the FBI and the state police all accommodating and friendly while they were arresting you? No they were not! My arrest foreplay situation for you is more realistic.
MJ: Thank you for doing all of those things. I love you and I am making it my duty to please your booty!
Malia: Yeah. Come do dat pwease.
MJ: You know how you can check in in advance when you have an appointment somewhere?
Malia: Uh huh
MJ: I’m checking in right now while I’m walking that way via text so I can just open the door and ravage your body when I get there. Trick or treat. Warning…..I’m up to no good and down for anything! Let’s get it on!!
MJ: I’m here. Unlock the door. Are you crying? It sounds like you are crying.
Malia: Baby everything is ruined. I was wearing the chocolate panties when I was getting everything ready and the chocolate melted all over the bed. Now there is a chocolate mess and nothing for you to eat.
MJ: Nothing is ruined my love. The sheets can be washed. Clothes can be washed, and I can think of something to eat, that tastes a lot like Cheetos, and I love Cheetos!
Malia: It is messier than just the chocolate. This slippery massage oil shit is everywhere!
MJ: Baby, we have had sex behind a club on 6th street in Austin, with a homeless guy watching us one time! This is our house. We could pour all of the boxes of cereal in the pantry out on the bed and have sex on top of friggin cereal if we want to!
Malia: 1. There was a homeless guy watching us that night? 2. Sex on cereal would be crunchy. 3. Are you mad at me for ruining foreplay arresting you?
MJ: I forgot to tell you about the homeless guy. He seemed harmless enough, and you were dancing all up on my dick! I was to horny to concentrate on the homeless guy. Yes it would be. You didn’t ruin a thing! If you let me in, you could lay back and relax while I spend some quality time down in your lady business area.
Malia: If you lay on the bed you are going to get chocolate on you, and probably the massage oil that won’t dry and is impossible to clean up.
MJ: I’m willing to risk it.
Malia: I’m a hot mess baby.
MJ: But you’re my hot mess, and you’re pretty fuckin awesome!
Malia: The chocolate is in my hair.
MJ: We have a shower to wash your hair babe.
Malia: Ok. You can come in but don’t laugh. I made a big mess.
MJ: I’ll try not to laugh, but if I do, I promise I’m laughing with you, not at you.
Malia: I’m turning the lights off.
MJ: Please open the door. I don’t care what the room looks like, or if chocolate is in your hair. As long as you are behind the door, it’s all good babycakes.
Malia: I love you. I really love you.
Note- Malia opened the door, and we had the sex time of our lives!
Arrest Warrant Issued For Malia May Johnson – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/arrest-warrant-issued-for-malia-may-johnson/