MJ: You want some of this Johnson?
MJ: You don’t? 🙁
Malia: I don’t want some! I want all!
MJ: My avatar wants to bang your avatar.
Malia: My real me personatar wants to bang the real you personatar. Let’s get together and have some sex.
MJ: I would like your assurance I will be safe before I agree to meet and bang.
Malia: You don’t feel safe with your own wife?
MJ: Most of the time I do, but the last time we were together, you tortured me.
Malia: What are you talking about?
MJ: You tortured me and you know it woman!
Malia: I did not!
MJ: You don’t remember the plucking my eyebrows torture?
Malia: I am a woman. We have to shave everything, have periods, get waxed, go through “eyebrow plucking torture”, have babies, breast feed, and endless other shit because of the curse of Eve. Why did she pick that friggin fruit and give it to Adam? What a bitch!
MJ: Well when you put it that way, maybe the eyebrow torture this morning wasn’t so bad after all.
Malia: Ya think?
MJ: I was just teasing, kind of. Still a little bit ouch though, with love my love.
Malia: Remember what I told you on our wedding night?
MJ: Which thing? The thing you told me to never tell anyone, or that you hope I never get sick of you?
Malia: That I hope you never get sick of me. Are you sick of me?
MJ: Never Malia. I wouldn’t change a thing about our relationship. Marrying you was the best decision of my life. I love you with every beat of my Adderall heart!
Malia: Would you love me if I had post partum depression?
Malia: Even if it was bad?
MJ: I would know that it wasn’t you. It was crazy hormone chemical temporary craziness. I would love you through it.
Malia: Would love me even if I was a crazy bitch from hell?
MJ: I would. It might not be easy, but I would. I have experienced the Maliacane before. Category 15 storm every time.
Malia: I’m sorry I eyebrow tortured you. I love you more than all of the stuff and things in all of the everywhere.
MJ: I was only kidding around about the eyebrow torture. I love you more than all of the stuff and the things and the deals and the places and the all everything everywhere too.
Malia: Do you like my face?
MJ: Yes! You are so beautiful my queen!
Malia: Do you love me even though I’ve got a big tummy?
MJ: Yes! Your tummy is only big because you are pregnant. If you weren’t pregnant and your tummy was big, I would still love you and every inch of your tummy. I signed up for big belly or for little belly, until death does us part, remember?
MJ: I think you are yummy even when you have a big tummy.
Malia: You see. This this is why I keep you around.
MJ: I’m glad I’m good for something.
Malia: You are good for more than just something.
MJ: I love you Malia. I love you and only you in whatever size and shape you are in.
Malia: I’m big boned so I need your big bone.
MJ: If you aren’t feeling it right now, we don’t have to fool around.
Malia: I am uncomfortably big as a house pregnant, and I know God is a man, because sex is the only thing that makes a big fat pregnant woman feel comfortable.
MJ: Thank God!
Malia: You are such a man.
MJ: I am a man. I can’t deny that. But I am a man who loves you more than anything in the world, and you can’t deny that.
Malia: Nope. Come and make me comfortable by putting your hotdog in my bun…..
MJ: With mustard.
Malia: That’s a metaphor for jizz.
MJ: One hotdog with jizz cumming right up.
Malia: Good Lord! But yeah, that is what I want.
A Picture and a Thousand Words about an Angel on Earth – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/a-picture-and-a-thousand-words-about-an-angel-on-earth/