The picture on this post is from one of MJ and I’s first dates. MJ’s mom called while we were on our date. MJ was drunk when she called. Not totally wasted drunk, but for sure inhibitions gone drunk. In the middle of what felt like was a somewhat serious call, MJ said – “Mom, I love Malia. I want to marry her. I saw her boob earlier when it fell out of her shirt. Her boob was awesome. She is awesome. We are having an awesome time. I love you ma. You are an awesome mom. I am sorry (MJ couldn’t remember who it was that was sick at the time, but he remembers it was someone from his family that lives in Tennessee) isn’t awesome. I hope she gets awesome again soon. Can I call you back tomorrow ma? I think our table is ready. We are at that awesome Oasis On The Lake restaurant. The sun is setting. It’s awesome on the eyes. I’ll text you a picture. I love you ma. Bye.”
After he hung up, he asked someone standing by us if they would take our picture so that he could send the picture to his mom. He handed the person his phone to take the picture, and we backed up to the railing. MJ asked me to hold his giant margarita glass because he didn’t want his mom to think he was drunk. I was laughing in the picture because I didn’t want his mom to think I was drunk either, and here I was the innocent one holding this giant margarita glass. I asked MJ why he handed me his drink. Wasn’t he worried about what his mom would think about me? MJ said- “I love my mom and I know she worries about me. I handed you the drink because I thought you would know what to do with it. You are my angel Malia May Johnson.” I said- “My last name isn’t Johnson.” MJ said- “Give it time. You gotta admit it has nice ring to it.”
I remember telling MJ later that night that I was doing a good job of making him think it was his idea that we should be together. He said he didn’t care whose idea it was for us to be together, but whosever idea it was, it was a good idea.
Michael David Johnson, I will always hold your margarita, kiss you, make love to you, be with you, have your babies, have your back, be your sounding board, be your muse, listen to you, collaborate with you, do whatever, whenever, however with you and for you, for any and all reasons, and I have no doubt you feel the same way about me. 3-8-2012 forever!
Malia May Now My Last Name Is Johnson
P.S. MJ, I know when you look at this picture the first thought that goes through your mind is me naked wearing the “clod hoppers” shoes I have on in this picture, and I am okay with that, because you know my first thought when I see this picture is you wearing the boots you have on in this picture naked doing “The Dick Dance”. We’re penguins MJ, and you are never getting rid of me!
Our First Slow Dance – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/ourfirstslowdance/