Personal Life

“Custom Built Vagina” by Malia May Johnson

During the birth of our twins on June 8th, my vagina sustained a tear. When MJ heard the doctor say- “During the delivery, Malia suffered a second degree vaginal laceration(tear). We repaired the tear, and made the alterations you requested, in the event a vaginal laceration occurred.”

What MJ heard out of that, was “Oh my God, Malia had custom vagina surgery, and she is a virgin again.”

This is my recollection of a conversation MJ and his friend Kevin had, after we got home from the hospital, when they didn’t know I could hear what they were saying.

Kevin: Congratulations. I’m happy for you and Malia. You have a great family MJ.

MJ: Thanks Kev. Malia, the kids, business, everything. Life has ups and downs, but when you have family and friends, you can get through anything.

Kevin: No sex for awhile huh? Like Michael Jackson said “Just beat it.”

MJ: I’m just glad Malia’s ok. I can live without sex until she gets better. She has always been good to me when I was down, so I am going to be good to her right back.

Kevin: Of course. What was you saying about the custom vagina thing?

MJ: During the delivery, her vagine ripped, so the doctor fixed it up, and built her a new one.

Kevin: They can do that?

MJ: Before you give birth, they go over all of these what if options. What if this, what if that, and have you answer the questions. One of the what if questions, was what if her vagina ripped during birth. Malia picked the customized job, where a vagina surgeon makes it all perfect again. The doctor hinted that he also made a few improvements while he was in there.

Kevin: Hell yeah!

MJ: I know, right? I was happy before. I can’t imagine what it will be like now.

Kevin: Love is beautiful. I was thinking it would go like last time. It was in and out done. Boom.

MJ: The babies and Malia are happy and healthy. You can’t ask for more than that.

Kevin: With a custom vagine on top.

MJ: The second week in July, I can’t wait to take that thing for a test drive.

Kevin and MJ started laughing at that point.

MJ, I hope my new “custom vagina” is all that you want it to be baby.

I am sorry you have to wait so long before we can have sex, but if I was you, I wouldn’t “Just beat it” to often, because you are going to need all of the sex stamina you have the second week of July!

Mark my words. I am going to give you more lovin than your body can handle!


Malia “The Newly Revirginized” Johnson

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About Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

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