Dear “People who care about me the most”,
I have received and read your letter. I am honoring your wishes, by not posting your letter publicly, about why you don’t think it’s a good idea for me to see my son this weekend, but I respectfully disagree.
I will admit that I feel empty inside, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and I can’t stop crying, but when a person is going through the worst things imaginable, who do they turn to? They turn to their family.
I read every word of the letter, and I do understand that I am in an “emotionally charged state right now”, and that interpol guy just said that I was one of the most dangerous men in the world.
People say a lot of things, about a lot of topics, but that doesn’t make what they say true. Every single one of you have seen my ups and downs, but tell me one time I ever put my son or my families lives in danger? I have never done that, and I never will.
From 2009 until now, I have only broken my word to you twice, and both times were attempts to save my marriage. I thought it was the only way to keep my family together, and I told her as little as humanly possible. That said, every single one of you told me you would have done the same thing! How could I possibly have known, that my ex-wife “Gotye”, was going to do exactly the opposite of what I asked her to do, if I told her what was really going on?
I know, you all told me she wouldn’t believe me, because I wasn’t allowed to prove it to her at the time, it would freak her out, and she would think I was crazy. Feel free to say “I told you so” again, if it makes you feel any better, but I was on the verge of losing everything.
I challenge each and every one of you to step into my shoes from 2009-now, and see if you can do any better. Maybe you could. I don’t know, but all 9 of you get to take breaks from being in the “pressure cooker”, which you guys call my life, but I don’t get to. This is my life. I don’t get to take a break from it.
I know that 7 out of the 9 of you probably weren’t concerned about me spending this weekend with my son. I’m betting that 2 of you, Mr. Fanning, and Dr. Deb, were the kid blockers.
Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong about the 7/2 split, but something tells me that you won’t be correcting me.
This part is for Dr. Deb and Mr. Fanning- The letter mentions that I have been through the entire list of life’s most stressful events, all within the last 7 years, and it is hard for most people to get through them, when the events are spread out over an entire lifetime, and I need time to deal with/process everything that has happened, but please do me the same couteousy I have shown you, and read every word of this message.
Dr. Deb and Mr. Fanning, you have been right about everything, for as long as I have known you 2. Dr. Deb, you are the reason my son +1/CJ was born, and you are the reason I am alive today.
Mr. Fanning, without your guidance and leadership, and your support on that beautiful summer day in Washington, D.C., in 2016, in front of the most powerful people on earth, I would probably be in Guatanamo Bay right now.
So, it is with all due respect and admiration, that I respectfully ask you both to reconsider your decision, to not let me see my son this weekend.
Mr. Fanning, I learned from my lawyer today, that by default, if my wife and I ever part, for any reason, you have full power of attorney over my life for 2 years. That was Malia’s idea for me to do, incase she and I broke up, so I wouldn’t go insane, and do something really bad. She did not have me sign that in the case that she died, but apparently you still get the power of attorney for 2 years. I trust you. I trust you because you have earned it, but please don’t make things worse by not letting me see my son.
Dr. Deb, you always tell me that you know my brain better than I do, because you’ve seen it with your own 2 eyes, I haven’t, and you helped repair it. The problem with that argument in this case, is this isn’t about my brain. This is about my heart, and you haven’t seen my heart with your own 2 eyes, so don’t go there.
Mr. Fanning and Dr. Deb, I did not write this because I am trying to go against you or cause problems. I need this.
I will agree to go to the therapy sessions you want me to attend every week, both the normal one, and the one that helps me to process/analyze things.
I will even agree to the days only/Chris switch at night this weekend, so I don’t have nightmares around my son, and freak him out/hurt him by accident.
Please have a heart, and be human beings for a minute.
I know that if I go pickup my son and see him without your blessing Mr. Fanning, you can have me thrown in jail, and you have told me that if I step out of line over the next 2 years, “you won’t hesitate to be a hard ass Army guy, and be hard on me for my own good”.
I am 37 years old, my wife and 2 unborn children died in my arms 3 days ago. I haven’t done anything crazy.
I don’t see how seeing my son, who I love more than life itself, for 4 days, where I undoubtedly will have lock down style supervision while I have him, can be that bad of a thing.
Instead of jumping up and down kicking and screaming, I’m asking you with a humble heart, and a father’s undying love……Please let me spend time with my son this weekend.
I am a single dad with 3 children. You have let me be around the twins, who aren’t even one years old yet, that are much more fragile than my 5 year old son.
If I would have received this letter at any other time, you would have been right about me blowing up at you, but I honestly don’t have the emotional strength right now.
Mr. Fanning and Dr. Deb, may I please spend this weekend with my son?
Michael David Johnson
Dear “People who care about me the most” (2 of 2) – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/dear-people-who-care-about-me-the-most-2-of-2/