Personal Life

First You Argue Then You Make Up

Despite All My Rage I Am Still Just A Nicolas Cage "MJ The Terrible" Collage

Malia: Mr. “MJ The Terrible”, why do you want to fight with your wife when we could be doing something a whole lot more fun together? We have a babysitter tonight!

MJ: You started it!

Malia: You started it!

MJ: You started it!!

Malia: You started it!!!!!

MJ: You were relentless with your feistiness today.

Malia: And clearly I need to be punished for it.

MJ: Exactly!

Malia: What did you have in mind?

MJ: I was going to let you stew for a while, which I know will drive you nuts because you are in baby making heat right now.

Malia: Well I hope you really like that couch, because you will be sleeping on it tonight!

MJ: I love this couch!

Malia: Well now I’m pissed! You will lose this battle “MJ The Terrible”!

MJ: No I will not “Maliacane”!

Malia: You might be 1 of only 72 people to ever be awarded the Distinguished Intelligence Cross, and that is a big deal and all, but baby, I am your kryptonite!

MJ: Get off my couch woman!

Malia: Make me!

MJ: Are you just going to lay there naked and shit just to drive me crazy until I give in?

Malia: Uh huh.

MJ: Why are you texting me when you are 2 feet away from me?

Malia: Because

MJ: I don’t care how naked and stuff you are. I’m not giving in. It’s the principle of it baby.

Malia: It looks like your “principle” is happy I’m naked on the couch with you.

MJ: F@$k you!

Malia: Yes! Do that!

MJ: No! You were a little shit all day and now you think your just gonna sexy up to me and I’m going to forget all about your feistathon today?

Malia: Uh huh.

MJ: Well you are wrong!

Malia: Oh, ok.

MJ: Are you going to go back in the bedroom?

Malia: No, not at all.

MJ: Baby, do you know how hard it is to hold out right now?

Malia: I’m looking at “how hard it is” to hold out right now.

MJ: You know what you are?

Malia: A wife who wants to sexpologize for being a bitch today?

MJ: I was going to say a woman in heat who wants to have another baby more than anything.

Malia: Guilty as charged!

MJ: So you aren’t trying to sexpologize.

Malia: I do want to sexpologize, and if I get pregnant during all of the apology sex, what’s wrong with that, huh?

MJ: You are my kryptonite.

Malia: Uh huh

MJ: Can we at least pretend like I held out for a long time?

Malia: Sure baby. You really made me work for it.

MJ: I am 1 of only 72 people to ever be awarded the Distinguished Intelligence Cross.

Malia: Baby, I know. I also know that you can’t even look at it because of how traumatic the events were surrounding it. You don’t have to be a hero all the time and you can’t change the past. You are a hero, and the hero gets the girl. Now get the girl!

MJ: Where is it?

Malia: Where is what?

MJ: The award!

Malia: At your parents house.

MJ: How long did I hold out because I’m ready as hell to give in and get into your body!

Malia: A solid 5 minutes at least.

MJ: 5 minutes? That’s it?

Malia: It was a long 5 minutes though.

MJ: If you stayed in the bedroom how long do you think I would have been able to hold out?

Malia: You are a visual person, so longer. Definitely longer. I was going to text you naughty pictures to get you to come to me. But why do all that when I can just come be naked on the couch with you right here like this?

MJ: I love you. I don’t like it when we fight.

Malia: I’m really really sawy baby! I want to make it up to you sooooooo badly right now!!!

MJ: Wait for it.

Malia: ……….

MJ: Wait for it…….

Malia: Baby, are you going to jump off the top rope on me?

MJ: Wait for it!!

Malia: I don’t think Macho Man had a boner when he jumped off the top rope onto other wrestlers.

MJ: WAIT FOR IT!!

Malia: Ok. I want it. I’m ready!

MJ: I love you. I didn’t want to hold out at all. I’m going to jump down on you quick so you don’t have time to read this text before I land on you/in you. I know today was stressful. Thank you for not letting us go to bed angry tonight. And……BOOM!!!

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About Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

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