I love you in black and white, and color, and in every other way possible.
I should have been more supportive/loving last night after you accidentally backed your car into mine in the parking garage.
In my defense though, it was your 7th accident in the last 2 and a half years, we’re still dealing with the accident where you accidentally drove into the back of the garage at our new beach house, like 2 weeks ago, and I was in the middle of dealing with a lot at the moment you told me about the accident last night.
I shouldn’t have said what I did. I said the 3 comments that I said mostly to try to bring humor to the situation, because we were both really frustrated, and in bad moods at that moment.
Here are the comments that I made-
Comment #1. Baby, I’m not mad. I’m impressed that you were actually able to get your car(Range Rover, but I said car), into this position, to be able to avoid all of the things that everyone else likely could have/would have hit, to hit probably the least likely thing that anyone could have hit, which is my car, the one thing that was almost completely insulated from getting hit.
Comment #2. Baby, the next time that you get into a wreck, please don’t leave your keys in the car, and leave the car running, with the door open, while you go upstairs to get me.
Comment #3. Baby, I want you to get back in your car, and go out there and hit the pace car, because you’ve hit every other God damn thing out there, and I want you to be perfect!
Here’s a link to the movie quote I said to Malia about hitting the pace car that I said to her on comment #3 – https://youtu.be/xll0VOsiE84
Now, after I made comment #3, my beautiful wife Malia got angry, and just like you don’t want to make David Banner angry, because he will turn into the Incredible Hulk, you don’t want to make Malia angry, because she will turn into a Texas Tornado of pissed off, everyone better run for their lives anger.
With the car still running, with the door wide open, I could just see her anger build.
She didn’t say anything at that exact moment. She walked about 25 feet towards the building entrance. Then she stopped, turned around, and yelled, right in front of our neighbors and everyone else- “I hope you have enjoyed all the sex we’ve had, because it is going to be fucking cold again outside by the time I let you put your arrogant condescending left leaning little dick inside of me again!”
Important note- It’s June. In Texas, it doesn’t get cold until the end of November/the beginning of December.
Then she went inside. As you can probably guess, I didn’t get to sleep in our bed last night.
I love you so much Malia! I know you know that. I wish I could go back and change what I said, and how I acted, but I can’t. All that I can do is change the here and now.
After you have calmed down, let’s talk.
I am headed to my parents house to get the Play Mobil police car for my son, then I’m going to his karate class. Anytime after that, I am available to talk. I love you.
No one is perfect. 7 wrecks/accidents is a lot in only a 2 and a half year time period, and I didn’t yell, or be mean. I wasn’t very nice, loving or supportive either though.
Please forgive me.
All of my love,