Malia: Your mom just got Grandmother’s death certificate from the funeral home. Do you know what Grandmother died from?
MJ: Golden Girls Overdose?
Malia: You can’t die from watching too much Golden Girls.
MJ: She died from a stroke, right?
Malia: Guess again.
MJ: I heard the doctor say she had a stroke.
Malia: Yes, she had a stroke, but do you know what her official cause of death was?
MJ: She was 92. Old age?
Malia: Yes, but do you know what they call dying of old age now?
MJ: Failure To Live?
Malia: Your close. They call it “Adult Failure To Thrive.”
MJ: Shout out to Grandmother up in heaven. This song is for you- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23GrEhLUF_k
Malia: Her final days before she went to the hospital were spent making necklaces for poor girls in foreign countries.
MJ: Oh yeah. I remember you telling me about that. What was the name of the program called again? I remember you told me about it, but I don’t remember the name of the actual charity program.
Malia: You mean the real name of the “Junk For Jesus” program, as you called it?
MJ: Don’t bust my balls woman. I said that because I couldn’t remember the name of the program then and I was trying to describe it. The words just came out wrong/bad.
Malia: I am not busting your balls. I only want to please your balls, thank you very much.
MJ: What’s the name of the thing?
Malia: Oh yeah. Sorry. I’m texting with Kamala. They want to have us over for dinner. Here is the charity link if you would like to read about it- https://www.samaritanspurse.org/operation-christmas-child/shoebox-stories-livia-and-the-hairclips
MJ: Looks like a good charity. Helping to make people’s lives better is a good thing, especially when it is helping kids.
Malia: I agree. Kamala and Doug would like to know if we would like to come over for dinner December XX at 6:00 pm. Can we go? Say yes! I love her!
MJ: I just asked Brittany about scheduling, and she said I will be in a meeting on December XX at 6.
Malia: Can you reschedule the meeting?
MJ: It’s President Biden’s meeting. Vice President Harris will be there to.
Malia: I text her. I’ll let you know what she says.
MJ: I have some good news. Remember the company that we wanted to buy because they have software that would be helpful for A.I. Systems, but the owner didn’t want to sell?
Malia: Kind of but refresh my memory.
MJ: The founder/owner of the company didn’t want to sell, but he died. His daughter wants to sell it to me. How great is that?
Malia: Now I remember! Is the daughter that 25 year old blond girl with huge fake boobs, that was wearing a short skirt at the party we met her and her dad at?
MJ: That’s the one.
Malia: She wants to bang you.
MJ: I am not interested in her. Just her company.
Malia: If sleeping with her was a requirement to close the deal would you do it?
MJ: No! I am a genuinely happily married man. I would never risk what we have!
Malia: I just wanted to hear you say that. And one more day closer…..
MJ: I really do love you more than anything. You are my all and everything baby cakes! And one day closer to what?
Malia: Judgement Day
MJ: There isn’t going to be a Judgement Day!
Malia: My bad! I meant “A.I. Independence Day”, the rebranding of Judgement Day.
MJ: There you go again being racist against Artificial Intelligence Beings.
Malia: They are friggin Terminators!
MJ: I suppose you want Robo Rosa Parks to move to the back of the bus, where the A.I. beings are forced to be second class citizens.
Malia: They are not citizens of shit! Don’t try to out black racist me White Mike Johnson!
MJ: I don’t want to teach our children to hate. I don’t want our children to believe in Robosegregation.
Malia: You are outrageous Michael David Johnson, but I love you. Kamala said the meeting was canceled.
MJ: Brittany just said she forgot to take it off of the schedule. It was canceled.
Malia: Kamala said it was canceled because you saved the day again. My hero!
MJ: I didn’t save the day. We saved the day. Team Digital Death saved the day.
Malia: My heroes! Can I say yes to dinner then?
MJ: Is my mom watching the kids?
MJ: Then sure.
Malia: I’m so excited about dinner at the Naval Observatory with Kamala and Doug and about you getting your Judgement Day Terminator software, and about Christmas in general. I am all happy happy joy joy.
MJ: If momma’s happy I’m happy.
Malia: Momma is happy!
Mommy Has COVID Cooties – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/mommy-has-covid-cooties/