Personal Life

Life Leading Up To MJ The Terrible’s Subdural Hematoma Rupture

Malia: Are you still listening to and watching the recordings and videos from your old house when you were with me in Bethesda?

MJ: No comment.

Malia: Is Pantygate still going on?

MJ: No. That died down.

Malia: Any new juicy stuff?

MJ: Not really. Chris deserves an academy award for his fake back injury performances though. Do you know if Chris knew Gotye was in the process of setting me/him up?

Malia: He knew. Did she mention to her friends, the one she got the lawyer recco from, or the other one, that she was setting you up, versus you actually being a bad guy?

MJ: Yes.

Malia: Does that bother you?

MJ: It will sound like I’m lying, but no.

Malia: I know some of that had to bother you.

MJ: It did. She had my mom babysit CJ, so she could go meet with her divorce lawyer. That bothered me.

Malia: That’s all that bothered you? I thought this would be way more emotional for you.

MJ: Babe, I’ve seen how this movie ends. The guy gets the girl, his son, his family, a medal from the President, becomes an internet millionaire, who lives a dream life/lifestyle, etc. Truth be told, when she was at her worst, Chris was the one that had to deal with her.

Malia: I see what you mean. I like being the girl the guy gets in the movie. Great guy!

MJ: I like being the guy that gets the girl in the movie. Great girl too!

Malia: Do you ever miss her?

MJ: All the time.

Malia: WTF???

MJ: Baby, you have to know I’m kidding on that one. She was horrible to me!

Malia: BABB said she heard you crying earlier. What part made you cry? When she went in your bedroom and told you she was interested in separating?

MJ: No. Pedro(the cat) was making these horrible pain noises, and had to be put down. It was sad. I loved that friggin cat.

Malia: Her telling you she wanted to seperate didn’t upset you?

MJ: No. The only issue is time with CJ. Other than that…..BYE! How did Chris cry on command in some of those situations?

Malia: I don’t know. That’s his world. I’m sure he had a method.

MJ: I did skip ahead and watch her dad’s funeral. I can’t believe they all knew she was leaving me, and I was down there being all nice to her family and shit.

Malia: Baby, I love you, but you weren’t at the funeral. That was Chris(MJ2).

MJ: You know what I’m saying. If you haven’t seen it yet, you have to see the moment in her car after the funeral, when she is a total bitch to me(MJ2). I think that is the moment where even if I was him in that moment, I would have/he deserved to be able to let her have it. (Words, not fists.)

Malia: I can’t believe you’re not more sad. It feels weird that you’re not. I guess our lives are weirder than most though.

MJ: I know why I wasn’t that sad.

Malia: Why?

MJ: Will you do me a favor?

Malia …..

MJ: Will you go in the bathroom and let me know when you’re in there?

Malia: Here.

MJ: The person in the mirror you’re looking at right now is the reason.

Malia: I was going to fuss at you for making me get out of bed, but awwwwww!!!

MJ: You are the one and only love of my life and wife.

Malia: What about Gotye?

MJ: She was many things. She was a surrogate, a placeholder until Mrs Right came along(you), and I’m sure some other things.

Malia: Her last name was Johnson.

MJ: Keyword- WAS! It has already been changed. She was only warming it up for you baby.

Malia: I hope Gotye finds happiness.

MJ: Are you going to help her find it?

Malia: No. She made the shitty bed she’s lying in, but I am hoping she can make a nicer bed for herself, or fix up the one she has right now.

MJ: Ditto. The faster she can get to a better place in life, the better it is for everybody involved.

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About Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

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