Personal Life

Mary Magdalene Was Like The Original Ride or Die Chick

Mary Magdalene Was Like The Original Ride or Die Chick Graphic

Malia: Baby!

MJ: I’m here. What’s up?

Malia: I’m going through withdraw

MJ: Pregnancy withdraw? As in, not being pregnant and missing it withdraw?

Malia: That to

MJ: What’s the first thing if there is a “That to”?

Malia: The thing makes me pregnant.

MJ: Sex?

Malia: Yes!

MJ: Well I know the fix for that withdraw!

Malia: You have barely been paying attention to me.

MJ: I miss you and want it to. We have been having fun family timing it and everything. 

Malia: 🙁

MJ: I tried to sex you up last night when you were getting your “Quickie shower” with a quickie, but you said no.

Malia: Why did you take no for answer?

MJ: For 1, I could tell it wasn’t good timing. For 2, I think forcing sex is rape.

Malia: Don’t make me do it!

MJ: Don’t make you do what?

Malia: Don’t make me put an all-points bulletin out on your dick. 

MJ: Did something in specific turn you on my love?

Malia: Uh huh

MJ: What was it so I know?

Malia: Thinking about how cute and funny and sexy you were when we watched the Mary Magdalene movie. I loved your modernizing of the Mary Magdalene movie, “Mary Magdalene was like the original ride or die chick. She is always down for Jesus, even when his own crew sells him out.”

MJ: I am glad you find me worthy enough to keep me around.

Malia: I do

Malia: I was a cheerleader in high school. Do you wanna hear my cheer? 

MJ: Sure……

Malia: Give me a D. Give me an I. Give me a C. Give me a K. What’s the spell? DICK! Yay DICK! Did you like it?

MJ: I loved it. You’re so all that is good and right with the world. 

Malia: Well I wanna make love to your penis with my mouth.

MJ: I literally have to be on an important video conference call in 34 minutes. Quickie?

Malia: Sure! Come and do a drive by like they do in the movies, where they pump out lots of rounds real quick and then drive away. 5 kiss minimum though. K?

MJ: I will count out the first 5 kisses to make sure we get them in. 

Malia: But not like that though. I don’t want little pecks. You’re not a woodpecker, and I’m not a tree.

MJ: 5 kisses with passion

Malia: Yeah!

MJ: I will be over there shortly

Side note- It was pouring down rain outside while we were having sex, and it lightened and thundered when MJ orgasmed. It was an intensely powerful sexual experience. MJ ran back over to his office after we finished. Then our texts picked back up again.

MJ: I love quickies. They are always fun and feel good. The quickie we just did was spiritual almost. I’m not just saying that. It felt like a religious experience or something. Did it feel different for you?

Malia: Yes! You had your eyes closed, but I had my eyes open and got to see it. Lightening and then thunder happened when you were cumming. It was WOW!

MJ: i did say “Oh God” when it was happening. Maybe he heard me.

Malia: I am going to touch myself thinking real quick. I wish you didn’t have to be over there right now. 

MJ: I thunder jizzed!

Malia: You did! If I got pregnant on that sex session, we are going to have a little Thor baby. 

MJ: Wouldn’t it be awesome if when he was born, he came flying out of your vagina with the Thor hammer and everything?

Malia: In theory that would be cool, but my vagina is only so big. I don’t think Thor’s hammer coming out of it during birth would be the best thing for my lady business. 

MJ: Thor Legend Johnson?

Malia: When Cash was born I was hoping the name would fit, and it wouldn’t be weird. It ended up working out great. 

Bedroom Quarantine Day Deep Poetry Feeling Shit Dedicated To Michael David Johnson –

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About Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

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