Personal Life

MJ and I’s Caldwell County Dating Experience

Malia and Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson at Caldwell County Museum in Caldwell County Texas

The driving distance from where we lived in Austin to Caldwell County, is about an hour. 

At that time anywhere MJ went, his Court Appointed Supervisor (CAS), Brittany White, had to be with him everywhere he went. One of the terms of MJ’s probation was Brittany had to be with him at all times. He could go pretty much anywhere he wanted, but his Court Appointed Supervisor had to be with him. If MJ took me on a date, Brittany had to go with us. It was weird at first, but we got used to it.

The most awkward part about it was MJ had to do whatever Brittany told him to do or she could turn him in for violating his parole, and he would go to jail. So, if MJ and I were having a good time on a night out on the town and Brittany said, “The night is over. It’s time to go home.”, that was the end of the night.

Brittany was always nice to me, but she could be hard on MJ sometimes. Brittany used to call me Ma’am, Malia, or Ms. Dupont (My maiden name before I married MJ). Most of the time Brittany called MJ, MJ, but sometimes she would refer to him as Asshole or Shit Head. MJ had to refer to her as Brittany or Ms. White.

Brittany was respectful of MJ and I’s personal space most of the time, but occasionally she would be hard on MJ.

Brittany’s personality type is confrontational. MJ’s personality type is peaceful and easy going unless he is pushed. Then his personality type is confrontational. 

On MJ and I’s road trip date to Caldwell County, Brittany was in a bad mood and was all over MJ about every little thing he did, and MJ was not happy about it. I could tell he was trying to be sweet and kind to me, but I could tell he was pissed off at her.

We took Brittany’s black Chevy SUV that day. She drove and we sat in the back. While we were driving Brittany pulled over to get gas. She handed MJ her card and told him to get out and pump the gas, and he did. Brittany’s SUV was really dirty that day, and MJ was not happy about how Brittany was treating him, so in protest, MJ used his finger to write “Fuck The Police” on the back of her SUV. He did not tell her or me about it, but this would cause a problem with the police later. More on that in a minute. 

When we got to the Caldwell County Museum, it was closed for some reason, even though according to the hours on the door, it should have been open. I told MJ let’s at least take a selfie out front to save as a memory of our trip to Caldwell County. MJ and I walked down the stairs and got in front of the sign to take our selfie. I told MJ to back up a step because the sign wasn’t in the background. When he took a step back, he stepped right into a big pile of dog poop. MJ took the selfie and then yelled, “Shit!” Brittany and I were both laughing. 

Brittany said, “There’s a Walgreen’s a block from here. We can get something to clean your shoe off there. Malia and I will drive over there and meet you. You walk because you are not getting into my car with your shit shoe.” 

MJ walked over there. He got there first because there was traffic. He waited outside for us. When we pulled in, Brittany’s phone started ringing. She answered and was talking to someone. Brittany said, “Hold up you two. I might have something in the back of my blazer to wash your shoe off with.”. She didn’t have anything in the back to wash his shoe off with. She was still on the phone. MJ and I sat on the bumper with the back open while Brittany was finishing up her phone call.

Brittany was standing behind a large U-Haul box truck while she was talking. MJ saw the trucks lights on, indicating the truck was about to back up, and Brittany was right behind the truck. I could see MJ looking at it, and I turned to look too. I saw what was going on, and I asked MJ if he thought the driver of the truck knew she was behind him. Then the truck started backing up. MJ slid off the bumper and ran to grab Brittany and pull her out of the way.

MJ grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the way. Brittany not knowing that MJ had just saved her life, slammed MJ up against her blazer and pulled out her handcuffs to put them on him. I started to talk, and the driver of the truck that almost ran over Brittany saw what happened and said, “You might not oughta do that. I didn’t see you when I was backing up. He pulled you outta the way. He just saved your life.” Brittany let MJ go but pushed him as she walked away. MJ said, “What the fuck? I tried to help you. You heard what he said. You would be dead right now if I wouldn’t have saved you.” Brittany turned around and said, “I wouldn’t be here in this situation if you didn’t need a babysitter.” Then she kept walking. I told MJ he did the right thing. MJ closed the hatch on Brittany’s blazer, and we stood there and talked for a minute. 

The next thing you know a Caldwell County Sheriff pulled up in his car, rolled down his window and said to MJ, “Fuck The Police huh? I’d like to hear you say that to my face.” 

MJ said, “What?” The officer pointed at the “Fuck The Police” written on the back of Brittany’s blazer. MJ looked at me and I looked at him, like oh shit. I told MJ Brittany was walking this way, and MJ said, “See the lady wearing the sunglasses? This is her car.” 

The sheriff waited until Brittany got there, and said to Brittany, “Ma’am, the police work hard to keep you safe. It is disrespectful to write Fuck The Police on your car like that.” 

Brittany looked at MJ and said, “I’ll take care of it. I know who wrote that. It was this asshole right here.” and pointed at MJ. The sheriff said, “Do you want me to arrest him?” MJ said, “Arrest me, what about probable cause? You need probable cause to arrest someone.” The officer said, “I have probable cause if I think you are probably an idiot.” Brittany pulled out her badge and explained to the officer who she was and what the situation was. The sheriff had gotten out of his car by this point. While Brittany and the sheriff were talking, the driver of the U-Haul truck that almost ran over Brittany was driving back by the Walgreens, was parked at the stoplight yelled, “Hey Officer Curt, that boy is a lifesaver. I almost ran over the girl in the flower shirt there. If it wouldn’t a been for him pulling her outta the way when I was backing up, she would be as flat as a pancake.”

Then Officer Curt asked MJ why he wrote “Fuck The Police” on the back of her car. MJ said, “It was meant as a practical joke for her (meaning Brittany). It wasn’t meant for anyone else except her. Thank you for what you do.” Officer Curt said, “It looks like this is a matter for y’all to work out. Have a nice day.” Then he drove away. 

On the ride back to Austin Brittany thanked MJ for saving her life. MJ said, “It was the right thing to do. I am glad it worked out without injury.” After that, the rest of the car ride home was more of a friends atmosphere then it was a Court Appointed Supervisor, MJ, and me. When we got back to Austin, Brittany told me when it was just her and I, that MJ is starting to grow on her. Her initial perception was this guy is nothing but trouble, and I am going to have to keep a strict leash on him, to maybe he is not such a bad guy after all. Fast forward to now, 8 years later, and Brittany asked MJ to give her away at her wedding, and MJ said yes. They can still fight like cats and dogs sometimes, but it isn’t Court Appointed Supervisor and The Supervised (MJ) anymore. It is more like a family squabble.

As MJ’s Dad would say, “And a good time was had by all.”  

Malia and MJ Attempt To Tour The Texas Chainsaw Massacre House – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/malia-and-mj-attempt-to-tour-the-texas-chainsaw-massacre-house/

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About Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

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