“MJ The Terrible” Rescues The Queen of Bethesdaland From The Stuffed Animal Bandits:
Here is what happened when I walked into one of the spare bedrooms Malia is redoing, and I found her lying naked on the bed covered up by 3 giant stuffed animals, also known as “The Stuffed Animal Bandits”.
MJ: Oh no! Andre The Giant Bear, Shamu, and Bad News Brown Dog are trying to kidnap Malia!
Malia: Help me! Help me! Save me! Save me!
Then I said really loud in my Stone Cold Steve Austin imitation voice…..You 3 sumbitches are about to get the ass whoopin of a lifetime.
Malia whispered……You have to be the hero quieter baby. We have sleeping babies in the next bedroom.
I whispered…….Bad News Brown Dog, I’m going to flush you like a turd! Shamu, I’m gonna put my foot so far up your whale ass that my foot is going to come out of your blowhole! Andre, I’m gonna stomp a mudhole in your ass and walk it dry! Sexy girl on the bed. If you want me to karate the shit out of these mofos, let me get a whisper- Hell yeah!
Then Malia whispered……Hell yeah!
Stone Cold Steve Austin The Terrible fought off Andre The Giant Bear, Shamu, and Bad News Brown Dog! He saved the beautiful Queen of Bethesdaland, and the Queen of Bethesdaland, aka my wife Malia, said- “My hero! To the hero goes the spoils.” We kissed and made celebratory love.
Just like a Disney movie, there was a happy ending. The good guy won. The bad guys were punished. And the guy got the girl. The End!
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