Before The Event:
Mr. Fanning: How nervous is our boy Mali J? Will you be accompanying MJ to dinner this evening? Did he shave? Please make sure he looks sharp. I stuck my neck out on this and I’m now a former, which means we need him at his best.
Malia: Hey Mr. F. MJ has been in the shower for an hour. He got a haircut today, he shaved, he practiced with me, he practiced in the mirror, he practiced with Kevin, he practiced with Chris, and he halfway practiced with Diner Bob from our building. As long as no one brings up CJ/Gotye, MJ will hit this out of the park. And of course I will be there to support MJ. I bought a new dress. Fyi MJ has a surprise guest he is planning to bring in at the right time. Don’t worry. The surprise guest is a good fit for the room. MJ and his surprise guest will put on a show worth watching. See you tonight. Malia
Mr. Fanning: What about his meds? Did he take them? Did you make sure he is, you know, relaxed? I follow the MJ The Terrible blog. It seems to relax him being with you in that private way. Please don’t make me explain any further. Confirm we’re good Malia. Everyone trusts you. He’s got this right Malia?
Malia: Yes, yes and yes.
After The Event
Malia: How was that Mr. F.? Did my man deliver or what?
Mr. Fanning: Your man is insane! He has lost his mind. Malia, he set the table cloth on fire. Trulucks manager almost called the fire department!
Mr. Fanning: And he needs serious psychological help. He’s not right in the head.
Mr. Fanning: And the entire room was scared shit less MJ was going to hurt himself or Mr. Mccaughnehey or them. Malia most people begin a presentation with a joke, but not your manic husband. He began the evening by threatening top military brass.
Mr. Fanning: And he had the room in the palm of his hand. There, are you happy now?
Mr. Fanning: Are you going to make me say it?
Mr. Fanning: MJ had Admirals and Generals at Defcon 1. He was great alright?
Mr. Fanning: And he closed the deal.
Malia: As MJ’s mom would say- Damn skippy!
Malia: He is a lot drunk and probably going to puke later but right now it’s your moment baby. I love you. Take me home and take advantage of me now please. Sincerely, MRS. MALIA MAY JOHNSON!!!