MJ: My ex keeps accusing me of having Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have read about it, but I don’t think I have it. What do you think? Do you think I have it?
Malia: No. Your practice wife has Borderline Personality Disorder, and in order for her to feel better about herself, she has to believe you are more f-ed up than she is.
MJ: Gotcha. I love you.
Malia: People with Borderline Personality Disorder often believe their Borderline Personality Disorder was caused by someone who was or is in their life with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That is why your practice wife keeps trying to claim that you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and her having Borderline Personality Disorder is your fault, because if you don’t have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, then she is just f-ed up in the head, and all of the chaos and problems in her life/that she causes, is all her fault, which it is. I love you too.
MJ: Do you think I have any mental health disorders?
MJ: What mental health disorder do you think I have?
MJ: How certain are you that I have ADD?
MJ: Do you think I have any other mental health disorders?
Malia: Not that I know of. You have to see a psychiatrist once a week because of the kind of work that you do. I’m sure if you had another mental health disorder, they would have diagnosed you with it by now.
MJ: I have to tell you something.
MJ: I have been diagnosed with WBTSOOYS.
Malia: I am friends with your primary care physician, who is also your brain/neuro doctor. We talk all the time, and she hasn’t told me about this so called “WBTSOOYS” you are claiming to have.
MJ: My medical records are supposed to be private. You and Dr. Frincke and are violating my hippo rights.
Malia: First of all, it’s HIPAA rights. Second of all, I am your medical contact, because you never call Dr. Frincke back. Third of all, I am your wife. Wives and husbands share their medical info with each other.
MJ: What have you been diagnosed with? I don’t want to be the only one diagnosed with something.
Malia: I have been diagnosed with pregnant.
MJ: I love you baby. I trust you and Dr. Frincke.
Malia: What is WBTSOOYS? I just text Dr. Frincke about it and she called me immediately. She doesn’t know anything about that. She doesn’t even know what that is. She has never heard of it.
MJ: You told Dr. Frincke about it?
Malia: Yes! You have been through so much health wise, and I/we want to keep you healthy. Dr. Frincke is calling your other Doctors to find out about it.
MJ: She doesn’t need to do that.
Malia: What the f@$k?
MJ: More like who the fuck?
Malia: Me the fuck?
Malia: Did you make up your “WBTSOOYS” diagnosis as a your horny foreplay move on me?
Malia: I should have known.
MJ: You and Dr. Frincke don’t know everything about my health.
Malia: Your made up self-diagnosis caused a chain reaction. What is WBTSOOYS anyway?
MJ: It stands for Wanna Bang The Shit Out Of You Syndrome.
Malia: I text your Wanna Bang The Shit Out of Me Syndrome, to Dr. Frincke. She said she feels comfortable diagnosing you with Being In Love With Me Syndrome.
MJ: I definitely have that syndrome.
Malia: I have the treatment ready for your syndrome ready in the bedroom.
MJ: I have a severe case of this shit. I want the maximum strength treatment.
MJ: I didn’t mean to cause a big health scare or anything. I just wanted/want to love on you.
Malia: I should have picked up on that sooner.
MJ: I was just keeping you on your toes. It was a test, like the American Broadcasting System does on the tv. O T Dubs
Malia: Your lucky I love you so much Johnson!
Mental Health Assessment for Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/mental-health-assessment-for-michael-mj-the-terrible-johnson/