I found this email MJ sent me in December 2016. I thought it was funny, sexy, and cute, so I decided to share it.
Future Mommy Malia,
Since we are in get pregnant mode, I decided to put together a plan. I’m calling the plan- “Operation Guaranteed Pregnancy”, to ensure that we get pregnant.
Here is the plan. My penis is going to invade and occupy your vagina until the objective of the mission, getting pregnant, is achieved.
I’m making a list of all of the places and ways we can have sex to accomplish the mission objective. Here is the start of the list. Sex on the bed. Sex in the kitchen. Sex on the couch. Sex on the floor. Sex standing up. Sex laying down. Romantic sex. Quickie sex. Porno sex. Sex in hotels. Sex at concerts. Sex at festivals. Sex at museums. Sex at bed and breakfasts. Sex at military installations. Sex on the beach. To be continued.
Sure, we might get tired. We might feel like stopping, but we have to keep banging forward until we reach our goal. We have to plan our work and work our plan.
We have to flood your womb with so much sperm that your eggs are surrounded, and they have nowhere to escape. It is going to be Jizzmageddon!
We may have to encourage the sperm soldiers by saying things like- “You can do it!”, and “Get to the egg!”
I am willing to do whatever it takes. We may need to have a lot of sex. A LOT OF SEX. I’M TALKING ABOUT AAAALLLLOOOOTTTT OF SEX! With enough sex, we will have us a little Malia or MJ Jr very soon!
To boil the plan down to the easiest, quickest way to explain it, it would be this……We just need to have a lot of sex and let nature do the rest.
And the sooner we get started, the sooner we can do it again some more, and some more, until one day you pee on the kabob, and boom, it says – “You’re Pregnant!”, or you know, turns blue, or has 2 lines, or 3 lines, or shows a picture of a baby, or whatever pregnancy tests do these days that lets you know you’re pregnant.
We gotta do it. Why? Because……It’s for the kids!
Future Daddy Me
P.S. Imma make it rain jizz in your vagina woman!
P.P.S. Sperm…..Attack! Invade the womb! Tackle those eggs!