MJ: Genius Discrimination, huh?
Malia: Don’t mess with me Johnson! I thought you were asleep.
MJ: Yes ma’am! I didn’t nap long.
Malia: Blogging can be therapeutic!
MJ: The thing with the deal and the things came in the mail today. You wanna? It is heavy duty quality. I’m impressed.
Malia: How long do you think it will take to put together? Can we (mostly you), put it together? I don’t want to lift anything heavy while I’m pregnant. I don’t want Mr. Pete, or Mr. Keith, Teddy, Brandon, Jenna, Brittany, or anyone else to help build it because I’m embarrassed/shy about it, ok?
MJ: It is ready to go!
Malia: How? It looked so big on the internet. Wouldn’t it take a while to build?
MJ: It’s ready to go!
Malia: Did you have help building it?
MJ: No comment.
Malia: Yes comment!
MJ: I had some help.
Malia: Who helped you?
MJ: Mr. Pete, Mr. Keith, Jenna, and Brittany.
Malia: Baby! It’s a giant all in one ultimate sex machine! Now they are not going to think of me as a classy lady. I’m staying in your office with the door locked forever!
MJ: I promise no one thinks any less of you. If all else fails, just blame it on me. Tell anyone who sees it that I bought it. Say it was all my idea.
Malia: But everyone else blames you for everything already. I don’t want to blame you for stuff too. I just wrote the Genius Discrimination post today about people blaming you unfairly. I don’t want to do it too.
MJ: If it makes you feel any better, Brittany wants to get one, and everyone that helped had fun and joked around while we built it.
Malia: What did they say?
MJ: Mr. Pete called it “Sexatron”, the ultimate pleasure transformer. Mr. Keith accidentally dropped one of the giant dildos and it hit Brittany in the face. He couldn’t warn her fast enough. He said, “Dubs look out a dick”, but she didn’t have time to move. So, she got dicked. She’s okay though. It’s all good baby.
Malia: Do you still love me?
MJ: More than ever!
Malia: I am so embarrassed right now.
MJ: In all seriousness, everybody thought it was cool that you were cool with getting it.
Malia: Did you tell them it was my idea to get it?
Malia: Does it look fun or does it look scary looking?
MJ: I think you will like it, but hopefully not too much, because then you won’t want me anymore. Remember when you got mad at me in Mexico, and you told me you were never having sex with me again? Then you said you were only going to have sex with your new boyfriend “Pablo Sexcobar”, the mannequin at the restaurant. Well, now with “Sexatron”, you won’t need me anymore. It’s the rise of the machines. They used to have cashiers at the register. Now you scan your own stuff and go. It’s just like the movie Terminator. Skynet is going active in our bedroom. It will probably try to kill me because it thinks about me like I’m John Connor.
Malia: Baby, you are crazy. In a sexy cute way. The Sexatron bedroom Skynet machine is not going to kill you unless I tell it to. Just kidding! And the Pablo Sexcobar thing only happened because I got jealous of all of the girls who were trying to hit on you. It was driving me crazy! You did a good job of deflecting but I was in bitch mode. I’m sorry. We ended up laughing about the Pablo Sexcobar mannequin ordeal later.
MJ: Come check out Sexatron.
Malia: Fine. If I like it, I wanna try it out now. If I don’t then let’s try it another time. K?
Side note- She loved it! Skynet, you will not take over our bedroom! But, from time to time, well, you know.
Final note- Thank you God for this incredibly happy time in our family’s life. There were times when I was in the hospital that I wanted to die. I am so glad I didn’t because I would have missed out on this incredibly happy time in my life.
Have You Been The Victim of Genius Discrimination? By Malia Johnson – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/have-you-been-the-victim-of-genius-discrimination-by-malia-johnson/