Malia: Baby, thank you for letting me spend and buy everything I wanted to for Christmas this year. I know you didn’t really “let me” do it. I could have done it anyway but thank you for not fussing about it.
MJ: Out of curiosity, how much money did you spend shopping today?
Malia: Let’s not put a number on it. I did give the credit cards a workout, but it’s Christmas.
MJ: How much of a workout did you give the credit cards?
Malia: An Olympic athlete workout.
Malia: Think about it this way, we can put our $600 stimulus checks towards it.
MJ: Baby, you only get a stimulus check if you make less than $75,000 a year.
Malia: I actually did know that, but I was trying to lighten the blow a little bit.
MJ: With a lie?
Malia: More like a playful tease.
Malia: A little bit higher than that, but let’s change the subject. Does your package need to be stimulated?
MJ: Oh yeah! $4,000?
Malia: Come to bed so I can stimulate your package.
Malia: I can tell I am going to need to really stimulate your package.
Malia: it’s around that number.
Malia: Today or the total for all Christmas spending?
Malia: It’s around that number. I’m down for that thing you really like.
Malia: $14,537 and change, but you can’t put a price on Christmas! That number includes diapers and groceries and other stuff too.
MJ: The truth is, I didn’t grow up with money. I don’t think my parents spent $14,537 on all of the Christmas’s I had as a kid combined. Probably not even half that amount.
Malia: Baby, when Masters of Money merged with Team DD, Money Channel, Foreign Corp, etc, you made like 30 million dollars. $17,534 is not much compared to that.
MJ: I thought it was $14,537?
Malia: I want to please you. Come to bed Daddy.
Malia: Baby, you have 70 employees. I buy their gifts too. Now come get laid for crying out loud!
MJ: Ok. Be there shortly.
Malia: Waiting naked for you! XOXO
$400 Haircut Letter & Voicemail – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/400haircutletterandvoicemail/