Malia: Do you know what today is baby?
MJ: My Grandmother’s birthday.
Malia: Happy 91st Birthday Grandmother! I have a video call scheduled with your mom to sing Happy Birthday to Grandmother when she blows out her candles. Do you know what my favorite memory with your Grandmother is?
MJ: When she said you were the best Granddaughter in law she could ever ask for?
Malia: No, but that memory with her made me cry happy tears.
MJ: When she held Cash Michael Johnson for the first time, and she cried?
Malia: That is my favorite moment with Grandmother, because you said that was the first time you ever saw her cry.
MJ: I remember my love. It was a powerful moment.
Malia: Do you know what else today is baby?
MJ: Lay it on me baby. What else is today?
Malia: A woman became the 1st vice president elected in history! Kamala Harris’s husband, Doug Emhoff, will be the country’s first “second gentleman”.
MJ: That is 2 firsts.
Malia: I can imagine VP Harris now- “I had a stressful day helping Joe run the country. I need some stress relief. Come serve your country, by servicing your wife.”
MJ: They seem like a loving passionate couple. Do you think she wants a “second gentleman” in the street, but a “second freak” in the bed?
Malia: Last week I think it was, when I told you I didn’t like what you had to do, but I knew you had to do it. I changed my mind. You did a good thing baby. You did what had to be done for the good of the country in 2016, and you did what had to be done for the good of the country in 2020.
MJ: I love you.
Malia: Baby, I am a black woman, and we have black daughters. Do you know what you have done for women? Do you know what this election means for women and people of color?
MJ: Did our new bed get delivered yet?
Malia: Baby, you did a good thing. I am not going to let you lose sleep over this. You helped to change the world again. The President and Vice President Elect had a personalized handwritten invitation to meet with them after they address the nation tonight, delivered to the house today. I hugged the secret service girl who delivered the invitation. We both cried. Today is historic. I love you so much. I know sometimes the things you have to do torture you mentally and emotionally. This should not be one of them. You turned a loss for me and our black children, into a historic win for us. I am overwhelmed with joy for what you did. You did the right thing. You did. Please don’t torture yourself over this. You think I don’t know what you did, but I do. You made sure every vote was counted. Please acknowledge the good you have done.
MJ: I love you and I love our kids. That said, I do not want to talk about the election. The result is the result, regardless of how the result became the result. Did our new bed come in?
Malia: Do you want to go meet with the President and Vice President elect tonight?
MJ: Let’s let them have their night. Did our new bed come in or not?
Malia: Yes baby. Our new bed is here and fully installed. I look forward to breaking it in with you. I need to rsvp for tonight’s meet and greet with President Elect Biden and one of my new heroes, Kamala Harris. They want to thank you. This is a giant honor.
MJ: I don’t feel like I deserve to be thanked or honored. Please politely decline the invitation.
Malia: I can’t believe this! Only you would decline an invitation from the people who are about to become the most powerful 2 people in the world.
MJ: Malia! I can’t do it!
Malia: Yes, you can! I will lay your clothes out for you. I will have a quickie with you in our new bed before we go. Can we please go?
MJ: I have to work. I’ll be home late tonight. I’m sorry babe.
Malia: I want to go. I do, but I want more than anything for you to get the recognition you deserve. I won’t even go if you don’t want me to go. You can go. You have to deal with more unfair, unnecessary crap than anyone I have ever known. Please go to this baby.
MJ: You go. Let them thank and honor you. You deserve it as much as I do, because you are always right there by my side taking all of the hits right along with me.
Malia: Michael David Johnson, you are the hero of the day. You deserve to be honored tonight.
MJ: I am not going. I’ll be home late tonight. I love you Malia. I just can’t do this.
Malia: Baby, come on.
Dubs: Hey Malia. It’s Brittany. MJ is being MJ at the moment. He is brilliant with computer hacking shit, but digital brilliance does not always equal real world life skills.
Malia: Oh God! Can I help?
Dubs: I took his car keys and he is throwing a fit over it. I am trying to protect his ass!
Malia: He is such a hero. Why doesn’t he want any of the praise when he does the things that no one else can do?
Dubs: It’s hard to say. People who can do the things no one else can do, aren’t always the most balanced people.
Malia: Please keep him out of trouble. Is there any chance he will be able to go tonight?
Dubs: Doubt it. MJ’s fits usually go on for about a day and then fade away.
Malia: I spoke to Jen O’Malley Dillon. She is Biden’s campaign chairman. She said President Elect Biden and VP elect Harris will come here if we want. Has MJ calmed down at all?
Dubs: Cancel the meet and greet. MJ is not at his best right now.
Malia: Thank you Brittany. He is such a good, honest, loving man. Why does he get like this sometimes?
Dubs: He has been through 11 or 12 years of hell. It can warp a person. I think MJ is a hero. The way I show him I respect and appreciate the heroic acts he has done, is by protecting him from himself when he gets like this.
Dubs: Post the entire series of texts between you and MJ, and me and you. This is not to embarrass him. I want Mr. Biden and Ms. Harris to understand how much MJ has been through. I am sure any request to have a meet and greet with President Biden and Vice President Harris will be granted in the future.
Malia: Ok. We love you MJ! We understand, but we don’t understand, because you are the one who has to face many of the world’s worst problems and challenges alone.