I get asked my feelings on relationships and love quite often, so I thought I would share my thoughts and feelings.
I want to start off by saying that I’m not a relationship expert. That said, I have been in relationships that have not worked, I’ve been screwed over, I’ve had my heart broken, I’ve been cheated on, I’ve been in love, and I finally found the love of my life, after a shit ton of trial and error. Taking all of that into account, here are my thoughts on relationships and love…..
I think the most important question in any relationship is- Do the people in the relationship make each other happy?
I don’t think that good relationships are built in a day. I think good relationships are built daily.
I think that love can be found anywhere, and between just about anyone.
I think that if a relationship starts out of convenience/need, then it will be hard to find the want, when the convenience/need, is gone.
I think that if a relationship just doesn’t fit, it will be very difficult to make it through the hard times.
I think that love and trust are two different things. They are both extremely important in relationships, but both do not always exist in relationships. You may love someone, but you may not be able to trust them. I believe the strongest relationships are the ones where the partners both love and trust each other.
I think that if you are facing a huge challenge in your life, that effects your head being in the relationship, if most of the time your head and heart are in the relationship, then your partner will most likely understand, when your head needs to handle the huge challenge, because your heart is still in the relationship, and once your huge challenge is over/solved, your head will be back in the relationship.
I think that just about any relationship can work/last, as long as both partners are committed to making it work.
I think the two biggest keys to a relationships success, are communication and cooperation.
I think there are 3 types of love.
1. Familiar love- You are around someone so much that you develop feelings based on how much you are around the person.
2. Sweep you off of your feet love- You are absolutely captivated by the person. You feel this incredible pull towards them, and you develop a connection that is damn near magical.
3. Familiar love and sweep you off of your feet love combined! (As my friend Kevin would say- “Powerful shit!”)
I think good loves have one or the other, and great loves have both. For those lucky enough to have both, I think that is what most people would call their soulmate. The one!
My best advice for finding love- Try to find someone with similar interests, treat them well, and be yourself. If you have similar interests, and you both like each other for who each of you truly are, then love can grow from there.
Sometimes it can take a while to know what type of relationship and feelings are developing. Good things take time. Friendships can grow into relationships. Hate can grow into love. Opposites can attract. Anything is possible between people.
If you are reading this, and you are in a good/great relationship, then I am happy for you. If you are reading this, and you haven’t found “the one” yet, I encourage you not to give up. It took me 32 years, a lot of mistakes, a divorce, almost dying from a subdurral hematoma rupture in my head, and having to learn how to walk and talk again, to find the love of my life.
I honestly don’t think I really believed in “love” or “the one” or any of those types of what I used to perceive as corny relationship terms, until I finally met a girl named Malia. Malia changed everything in my entire life. There was my life before I met Malia, and then there was/is my life after I met her.
Finding the love of your life, can be a game changer of epic proportions! At least it was for me, and now I can’t imagine my life without her. It took a lot of bad and wrong relationships before I met Malia, but if I wouldn’t have had those bad relationships/had to go through bad relationships, I don’t know that I would have appreciated her as much as I do, and know just how lucky I truly am to have her in my life.
I wanted to include something in this post, that I thought you might find interesting. For a guy like me, who for most of his life didn’t really believe in love, here is what finding the love of my life/being in love, can do to you-
To My Future Father and Mother In Law(I hope!),
I felt compelled to write this. It is important to me that you know how I feel about your daughter, and what my plans are for the future.
I love Malia more than anything in the world! She is the bedrock of my life, and the only person besides my Mom and Dad, that I trust 100%. This very week, Malia did something so incredibly loving for me, that I couldn’t put it into words. What an amazing angel of a woman you have raised.
Everything in my life revolves around her. When I was down and out, she was there to build me back up. When times are good, she enjoys everything right along with me. I know that no matter what the world can throw at us, Malia will be right there by my side, for better or for worse.
This letter is a guarantee! Not a guarantee that life will be perfect, or everything will always run smoothly. This guarantee is simply this- As long as there is life in my body, I will do everything humanly possible to protect, support, care for, and love your little baby girl.
I assure you with my solemn promise before god and the world, that I will be the best husband, father, and soulmate to Malia, that I know how to be.
May I please have your permission to ask Malia to marry me?
Michael D. Johnson
Final note- They said yes. Then Malia said yes. We now have 4 children together, and I have never been happier in my entire life!