In the building Malia(my wife) and I live in, in downtown Austin, on the 10th floor, they have a sports bar, where anyone who lives in the building, can stop to have a drink, eat a burger, etc.
Well, tonight I ran into one of our friends, who is recently single, and just started dating.
Myself, and a few of the other guys were sitting around listening to him talk about some of his recent dates, and then he mentions his “dating coach”.
All of us turned and looked at him, and started laughing. We are all friends, so we were laughing in good humor, but it wasn’t 30 seconds before we started letting the jokes roll.
He told us he pays her $200 an hour, and she even shadows some of his dates!
Here are a few of the funny scenarios we thought up, while we were sitting there.
Funny scenario #1.
Wealthy Single Doctor’s Dating Coach: You really blew the opportunity to get her into bed tonight.
Wealthy Single Doctor: Coach, I was going to whisper in her ear, and tell her how beautiful she looked tonight, but the waitress interrupted me!
Funny scenario #2.
Wealthy Single Doctor’s Date: You got a text from Ashley, while you were in the restroom. Who is Ashley? I can’t believe you are texting another girl, while you are on a date with me! You are such a pig!
Wealthy Single Doctor: I am not texting another girl while I’m on a date with you! Ashley is my dating coach.
Wealthy Single Doctor’s Date: OMG! Now I’ve heard it all! You are such a scum bag!
Wealthy Single Doctor: I’m serious. I will prove it to you right now. She is shadowing our date tonight, so that she can tell me what I’m doing right, and what I’m doing wrong. There she is. She is sitting right there. Wave to Ashley. See, I told you so.
Wealthy Single Doctor’s Date: I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that your dating coach was going to be watching us. I shared personal, intimate things with you tonight. I didn’t know that our date was being watched and graded. This date is over! Don’t ever contact me again!
Funny scenario #3.
Wealthy Single Doctor: Hey coach, Michele and I are in the bedroom, and I’m just not getting the job done. I need something special. What should I do?
Wealthy Single Doctor’s Dating Coach: Don’t panic. You can do this. Run the 69 move that I taught you on her. You can do it! I know you can. Now get in there, and go get the job done!
Thank you “Wealthy Single Doctor”, for letting me write a post about this, as long as I don’t mention your name, and in all seriousness, I wish you the best of luck finding someone who makes you happy. You definitely deserve it, after what you just went through my friend.
There are personal coaches, business coaches, and coaches for a lot of other activities, both on the personal level, and on the professional level.
If you need or want to use a dating coach, because you think it will help you to find Mr or Mrs Right, then cheers to you. I wish you luck, love, and happiness.
For all of you single folks out there, who don’t have a dating coach, and are just trying to find Mr or Mrs Right on your own, I would like to wish you luck, love, and happiness, as well.
Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson