Personal Life

Sexy Self Defense

Malia Dallas Cowboys Game Looking Up Pouting Picture

Malia: Michael David Johnson! I am trying to poop in peace! I don’t need you to sing to me while I am pooping!

MJ: I am just trying to help.

Malia: How does you singing “Ah! Push it! Push it real good!”, help me to poop any better than when I poop in silence?

MJ: It’s poop encouragement, and we all need a little encouragement sometimes. 

Malia: Not while we are pooping! Baby! It’s not the song that is driving me nuts. Switching songs to “There’s something in the way she poops”, is not helping! 

MJ: I didn’t know you hated music. I feel bad for music, because music is so awesome, but you hate it. 

Malia: You better find a good place to hide, because when I get done pooping, I am going to kick your butt!

MJ: That’s a domestic violence threat right there, and this commercial I saw on tv said I don’t have to take it. I can call the domestic abuse hotline.

Malia: Call them! When the police come and take me away, how long will it be before you beg me to come back because you miss me, or you’re horny? 

MJ: Probably like 15 minutes.

Malia: Besides, this falls under the worse part of for better or for worse.

MJ: I do not recall signing said contract. 

Malia: There were over 500 guests at our wedding who will testify that you verbally accepted the for better or for worse terms.

MJ: I was under duress.

Malia: You are duress! I am about to be done, and when I get out there, you better have one hell of an apology teed up and ready to go! 

MJ: What kind of apology would you like?

Malia: One that involves your lips, and your mouth, and your tongue.

MJ: Ok. Do you know what I can do with my lips, mouth, and tongue? 

Malia: What?

MJ: I can sing!

Malia: And the award for the most frustrating husband of the day award goes to……Michael David Johnson of Bethesda, Maryland!

MJ: What did you want me to do with my lips, and my mouth, and tongue?

Malia: I was hoping for Oral Martial Arts. You are so freakin good at Lick Fu. 

MJ: Oral Martials Arts/Lick Fu, is only for self defense. 😉

Malia: You are going to need self defense when I get out of this restroom!

MJ: In that case, I summon the power of the great Lick Fu masters who have come before me. 

Malia: Bruce Lick? Lick Norris? Jean Claude Van Lick?

MJ: Uh huh

Malia: Will you Licks of Fury me please?

MJ: I will do as you wish Maliason. 

Malia: Yeah! One minute warning.

MJ: 60. 59. 58. 57……

Malia: I love you crazy man!

MJ: I love you big butt!

Malia’s Deadly Butt Weapon –

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About Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

Masters of Money, LLC., was founded by Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson, to create and sell how to information, to people looking for ways to make and save money. The goal of Masters of Money: Provide the tools, resources, and strategies, to help anyone who wants to be more successful, create the life of their dreams. Masters of Money's products and services list: Opt in email marketing - Online advertising - Social media marketing - Content creation - Content marketing - Internet marketing - Public relations campaigns - Web design - Direct response marketing - Copywriting - Company and / or product branding campaigns - Fundraising - Lead generation - Company and / or product launches - Business consulting - Partnering for profits campaigns - Blogging - Content library development - Content library maximization marketing - Multi-channel marketing creation and consultation - Ghostwriting - Ebook creation - Company continuity programs - Ezine creation - Ezine marketing - Digital newsletter creation - Digital newsletter marketing - Content trading - Information brokering - Company and / or product endorsements - Guest blogging - Business opportunity offers - Create and sell making and saving money strategies and information Company contact information: Foreign Corporation (LTD) AG. d/b/a Masters of Money, LLC. 3839 McKinney Avenue Suite 155-2281 Dallas, TX 75204 Phone #: (214) 329-4241   Fax #: (214) 599-9192  Email: Website: Blog:
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