Personal Life

Snake Attack Saturday

Long Black Snake Found on Malia and Michael MJ The Terrible Johnsons Bethesda Maryland Property 7-17-2021

There is a dirt walking path behind our house and the house next to our house that we recently bought. I usually take our babies on a stroller walk in the morning before it gets to hot out. When MJ isn’t working, he walks with us. MJ was working from home today, and he had time to walk with us. The first half of our walk was nice and relaxing. The second half of our walk, not so much.

MJ likes to have fun when strollering. He likes to do “Baby Wheelies”, and stuff like that. Not anything dangerous. Today while MJ was doing a “baby wheelie” with the stroller, I saw a giant black snake stretched across the path. I stopped and said- “Baby! Snake! Stop!”

MJ didn’t hear me and kept right on going. During the baby wheelie, MJ ran over the big black snake that was on the path. After he ran over it with the stroller he stopped and turned around. Brittany, our families head of security and MJ’s former court appointed supervisor, who was on MJ’s left side, moved to the right, in front of me and started to run towards MJ, as she told me to back up. MJ was about 15 feet in front of her. While she was running, she grabbed one of those expandable law enforcement batons out of her fanny pack and whacked the snake in the head.

MJ asked Brittany what she was doing. Brittany said- “You ran over that snake. I thought the snake might attack, so I attacked the snake to protect you.”

The snake started moving slowly into a semi curled up position. MJ said- “Baby, walk a wide path around the snake, and we will watch to make sure it doesn’t move.”

I started walking a wide path around the snake, maybe 10 feet away. I would have walked a wider distance around, but I wanted to stay on the actual path, because you can see your surroundings clearly on the path. When I started walking around the snake, I heard Brittany radio to the new security guy on MJ’s security detail. The new security guy’s name is Brandon. Brittany said to Brandon on the radio, that there was a snake on the walking path in between the 2 houses. Get down here and keep eyes on the snake until Animal Control gets here.

Brandon came running down around the back of the house to where we were. I could hear him running, but I couldn’t see him until he had run up to the top of the small hill where the path is. Brandon was on the other side of the snake from where I was. Brandon scared the snake, and the snake started coming towards me. Brittany and MJ both yelled to tell me the snake was moving, and to walk faster. I started to walk faster, but I also turned to look to see where the snake was.

Brandon pulled his gun out of his holster and pointed it at the snake. Brandon yelled- “Close your eyes Mrs. Johnson.” As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard 2 gun shots and I felt snake guts hit my legs and the stroller. I screamed as loud as I could. MJ and Brittany came straight over to where I was with our babies in the stroller I was pushing.

I was in shock at what had just happened. MJ was yelling, and Brittany was yelling. I was frozen. I couldn’t move. All I could think about was being pregnant, strolling with my babies, and gun shots going off less than 10 feet from me.

When I woke up this morning, I never thought I would be attacked by a snake, gun shots would go off so close to me that I could see the smoke from the gun, and snake guts would land on me and the stroller carrying my babies.

I hated today, but everything that happened was a reminder of how precious life is. Appreciate every moment because you never know what will happen in the future.

MJ, when Brandon pulled his gun out you ran to me. The guns shots were closer to you than they were to me. You ran in front of bullets for me and our babies. I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!  You are a great father. You are my other half. You are a part of me. I need you! Thank you for protecting our family and for providing me with the love and support I need to get through this. You are the best man I have ever known.



P.S. I can’t believe you could still make me laugh after all that happened. “I think we sent a clear message to all the snakes out there. They are going to think twice about coming onto our property again. I ran over that snake with the stroller. Brittany hit the snake in the head, and Brandon shot him twice. Then you kicked a piece of the snake’s guts and said “Fuck your guts!”. Come on our property snakes, and you will get run over, clubbed in the head, shot, and taunted. No snake wants that kind of treatment.”

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About Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

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