Malia: Do you think the saying “Black Lives Matter” is racist?
MJ: No. The saying is meant to call attention to an important issue. The saying isn’t “Only Black Lives Matter”.
Malia: I agree. They are debating it right now on the show I’m watching. I love you my enlightened, sexy, woke, big heart, big brain, big dick husband!
MJ: Will you please do me a favor?
Malia: Anything for you baby!
MJ: Promise me you won’t get mad.
Malia: Can I guess what it is you want to tell me?
Malia: Is it that you don’t want me to go to the HOA meeting tonight?
Malia: What is it?
MJ: You are so amazing. I can’t say it. It is so selfish, especially after what you have just been through. I love you so much Malia.
Malia: Nope. We do not do that where we hold back from each other. We talk it out.
MJ: Please don’t force me to say what I already regret starting to bring up.
Malia: I would prefer you told me, but if you don’t want to tell me, I won’t “force” you to.
MJ: Ok. Thank you.
Malia: But if you want to tell me, you should, because otherwise I am going to feel like you don’t trust me enough to tell me.
MJ: I do trust you. I feel like a selfish asshole for thinking it. Saying/texting it is going to make me feel like even more of an asshole.
Malia: I want you to tell me. I’m not forcing you, but I am going to think you are being an asshole if you don’t tell me, so freakin tell me already!
MJ: I have been really horny lately since we haven’t been able to have sex. I know we have to wait until you heal down there after giving birth, and I have no problem with that at all.
MJ: I hit send before I was done writing.
MJ: What I was going to say that I didn’t want to was, can you please stop teasing and touching me in sexual ways, and weighing my dick on the baby formula scale, and walking me around holding onto my man handle, and stuff like that? And can you please wear more clothes? Your left boob fell out the other night while you were sleeping and all I could think about was sucking on it and pounding your vagine. Do you think I’m a selfish asshole?
Malia: Baby, I do not think you are a selfish asshole. I have confessions too. 1. I was feeling fat, and I wanted to turn you on to prove that I could, to make me feel better about myself. 2. I knew what I was doing when I weighed your wiener and then walked you into the bathroom. I was going to do “stuff” with you in the shower, but when we got to the bathroom you had to poop, and then the FBI showed up and needed your help with something. I wasn’t trying to torture you.
MJ: 1. Please don’t feel bad about yourself for having baby weight. I love how your boobs and butt get big when you have baby weight. I love you and want you in whatever size and shape you are in. 2. I want to do stuff!
Malia: Stuff is on the menu right now if you are in the mood for stuff.
MJ: I want a huge appetizer of stuff, a big main course meal of stuff, and the biggest plate of dessert stuff on the menu.
Malia: Your meal of stuff is ready. Come and get it while it’s hot!
Malia’s Deadly Butt Weapon – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/malias-deadly-butt-weapon/