MJ: Wow! You sent me an awesome naughty video! Malia: Yes I did! MJ: That was hot baby! What has got you all worked up Mrs Johnson? Malia: What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic with a dirty mind. Your sexy blue eyes are what have me all worked up. MJ: You know how death row inmates get to…
MJ: I’m like milk. Malia: ? MJ: Because I’ll do your body good! Wanna fool around? Malia: Do you mean you are like Soy Milk because you will do my body good? MJ: No! Full milk all the way! Malia: I am lactose intolerant baby. Milk does my body bad. MJ: Shit! I did know that, but the pickup line…
MJ: Oh no! I am all alone in this big house all by myself. What am I going to do? Malia: I just saw you. MJ: I am scared and nervous being all naked and alone. You know when I get all scared and nervous having something in my mouth to suck on really helps me. Can you think of something for…
Malia: Michael David Johnson! I am trying to poop in peace! I don’t need you to sing to me while I am pooping! MJ: I am just trying to help. Malia: How does you singing “Ah! Push it! Push it real good!”, help me to poop any better than when I poop in silence? MJ: It’s poop encouragement, and we…
MJ: You should have to register your butt as a deadly weapon. Malia: Ok. I will indulge you baby. Why should I have to register my butt as a deadly weapon? MJ: Because it is dangerous! Malia: How so? MJ: When your little niece came running around the corner, you spun your butt around, she ran into it, and the…
MJ: I just talked to my mom. Thank you for helping her and the lenes. Malia: I don’t understand. The “lenes”? MJ: Yeah, every lady in her church group’s name ends in lene. Carlene, Jolene, Ilene, Sharlene, Paulene. There are probably more lenes than that. Malia: OMG! All of their names do end in lene besides your mom and one…
MJ: Why does everybody look at me like I’m a beast, and they look at you as a beauty? You are a beauty, but I don’t want to be a beast. Malia: Well if the beast mask fits. MJ: Baby! Malia: I am just teasing. Why do you think everybody looks at us like beauty and the beast? MJ: Look…
Malia: Promise me something. MJ: Ok. What? Malia: Promise me you will always try to quench my thirst when I’m thirsty. MJ: I will do my best. Malia: Promise me you will. MJ: Good Lord! I promise I will try to quench your thirst when you are thirsty! Malia: Did you know that I have only been good at playing…
MJ: What do you like better, your new Cady or your Hermes bags? Malia: I like you the best daddy! MJ: 🙂 Malia: Do you think any handy men that have come to fix our stuff have fantasized about having sex with me? MJ: Yes Malia: Baby! MJ: What? Malia: You’re not upset about that? MJ: What do you want…
MJ: Baby, I am a Penis American. Malia: Baby, I am a Vagina American. A Boobs American? What’s up Penis American? MJ: My penis. Malia: You are a Penis American and your penis is up? Thank you for letting me know. I can tell you got my letter in your office. MJ: We as Penis and Vagina/Boobs Americans, need to…