We joke sometimes about “Maliacane”, the nickname I gave Malia when she gets mad. The nickname is the name Malia and the type of storm Hurricane, mixed together. That is where the nickname “Maliacane” came from. And much like a hurricane storm that develops in the ocean, when Malia turns Maliacane, it is important to seek shelter somewhere safe, and/or…
My Favorite MJ Sexy Hot Quotes II by Malia May Johnson: “The truth is, I just want to fool around with you.” Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson “I’m in a pound the shit out of your lady business kind of mood but I don’t want to rock our baby too hard. Please tell me if, well, you know.” Michael “MJ…
My Favorite MJ Sexy Hot Quotes by Malia May Johnson: “Oh my God! Holy shit! That was like the best shit ever! I think this was the first time I have ever had sex. I must have been doing it wrong before, because it has never felt that friggin good! I mean that was like the best shit that has…
Question: When did Chris (MJ#2) start standing in for MJ? Rafael Santos Fort Hood, TX Malia: I don’t know an exact starting date, but sometime during 2011 is when Chris started standing in for MJ on a limited basis. In 2012, Chris actually had to go on a cruise with MJ’s wife at the time (his practice wife), to the…
MJ: Baby, you are a badass with a sexy ass. Malia: I love you MJ: Dick biter! Malia: That’s what you get for smacking me in the face with it. MJ: Well guess what. Malia: Chicken butt? MJ: Your butt! Guess what else. Malia: What else? MJ: I see London. I see France. I wanna see a South African girls…
May is military appreciation month, and you are an American hero Michael David Johnson. I really want to service you. I mean I really want to thank you for your service. You know that song “America, Fuck Yeah! Comin’ Again To Save The Mother Day” song from the Team America World Police movie? I know you do. I rewrote the…
Malia: Baby, do you know what sexual fetish you have? MJ: Maliaphobia? Malia: That would mean you have a sexual phobia about me. As in, you don’t want to have sex with me. MJ: Hornyformaliaalwaysophilia Malia: I like that one. If you put phila at the end of something it means you are all about it bout it. If you…
Malia: Baby, I have OCYDD. MJ: I Googled it. Sounds bad. Malia: What? I made it up. Just go with it baby because this works out for you. MJ: K. What is OCYDD? Malia: It’s Obsessive Compulsive Your Dick Disorder. MJ: What is the treatment for it? Malia: I have decided not to seek treatment. I just want to indulge…
“MJ The Terrible” Rescues The Queen of Bethesdaland From The Stuffed Animal Bandits: Here is what happened when I walked into one of the spare bedrooms Malia is redoing, and I found her lying naked on the bed covered up by 3 giant stuffed animals, also known as “The Stuffed Animal Bandits”. MJ: Oh no! Andre The Giant Bear, Shamu,…
MJ: Quick question. Do we have any dinner dates lined up in the next couple of weeks? Malia: No. Not that I can think of. MJ: Are you sure? Malia: Yep MJ: Have you made any new friends recently? Malia: Nope. MJ: Do you promise you haven’t made any new friends recently, and we don’t have any dinner plans in…