Malia May Johnson Butt Photos Collage
Personal Life

The Psychology of Quickies

MJ: Quickies are the exception to every rule about delayed gratification, putting in the time to achieve what you, etc.  Malia: Well, yeah, sort of. MJ: I can see the wheels turning in your head even though I can’t physically see you right now. Philosophize me babe. Malia: Guys get quickies (instant gratification), because they put in the time to…

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Malia and Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson Cheetos Selfie
Personal Life

WTF Is Postnatal Coitus?

WTF Is Postnatal Coitus? Malia: I love your Cheetos post. Great memories! This is my favorite Cheetos picture of us. Thinking about our Cheetos moments makes me want to have more Cheetos moments. MJ: Agreed Malia: Are you in the mood for some postnatal coitus? MJ: Huh?  Malia: Sex baby! Sex! Postnatal coitus is a fancy medical term for having…

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Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson's $100,000 All Directions Needle Shower
Personal Life

Handjob Haircuts

Malia: How was your haircut? MJ: It was good. I just like the military cut place better. I don’t need a handjob while I have steamed towels exfoliating my face, before I get my haircut. Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy it, but sometimes I need it quick. You know what I mean? Malia: They do not give you a…

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