Chris(MJ2): If anyone wants to know how to make MJ nervous, I’ve got the formula. You put a famous musician MJ kissed or slept with or whatever on the day he met Malia, in a hotel room, inside the hotel his ex-wife used to work at, where the air went out, and everybody is hot and uncomfortable, with his current pregnant wife, an adult film star MJ slept with before he met his first wife, who looks just like his first wife, that is doing spotlights at a strip club in town, add in the egg donor of MJ’s first son, and some current boyfriends and husbands, and MJ is sweating like a whore in church.
I don’t ever post shit MJ. Don’t be pissed off later. I love you bro
MJ: You forgot to mention the alcohol that’s flowing like Niagara Falls, and the fact that the venue she’s singing at tomorrow is the same venue where Malia and I’s kiss happened at during Bon Jovi.
Where are you anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be up here protecting me from all hell l breaking loose?
Chris(MJ2): I’m downstairs. Where is the restaurant at?
MJ: OMG! I think it’s at the end of the long hallway. Hurry up!
Chris(MJ2): Nobodys at the restaurant, but it looks completely different then when I was here with your exwife 2 years ago. They upgraded.
MJ: Thanks for the history lesson. Get up here. I am literally in awkward hell, with no way out. How can I possibly be the topic of every single conversation?
Chris(MJ2): Because you slept with half the people in the room and almost ignited world war 3 with a computer virus in between.
MJ: You’re fired!
Chris(MJ2): I don’t work for you. Calm down. I’ll be back in a minute, and if you’re really nice, I might pull the fire alarm later so we can leave.
MJ: Did my ex ever tell you the story about the quinceanera that happened along time ago where the gun shots went off in the hotel?
Chris(MJ2): No. The only stories she ever told me were about how much I/you suck. I think I hit you on the head at the right time. From Vday 2015 on, I was the lucky one who got to deal with her.
Happy almost 3 year anniversary btw. I’m sorry I did that. I still feel the guilt sometimes.
MJ: No worries. It all worked out. Malia just said she’s ready to go. Let’s roll.
Chris(MJ2): Alright. I’ll tell Pete.