We joke sometimes about “Maliacane”, the nickname I gave Malia when she gets mad. The nickname is the name Malia and the type of storm Hurricane, mixed together. That is where the nickname “Maliacane” came from. And much like a hurricane storm that develops in the ocean, when Malia turns Maliacane, it is important to seek shelter somewhere safe, and/or evacuate the area.
I love Malia more than anything in the world. She is my ride or die. She is my all and everything. She is a loving, giving, sharing, kind and compassionate woman. She is my other half. She is my queen. She is the mother of my children. That said, as they say- “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
We’ve had requests for a Maliacane example, so we put one together. There were other examples I wanted to use, but Malia didn’t approve, so this is the one that we went with. Both of these text messages happened on the same day, less than an hour a part.
Loving Lunch Planning Voicemail Malia Left on MJ’s Phone Transcription
“Hey babe it’s me. I know you’re busy but I’m driving so I couldn’t text it. I was going to say let me know what you feel like, and I’ll pick it up before you get here because I just found out I’ll be in Austin in like 30 minutes.
Uhm, but I’m thinking I really want a burger so I was thinking Hopdoddy’s, or I could go to Chili’s and get a black bean burger. Uhm. Just let me know what you feel like eating. I love you. I love you. I love you. Bye.”
Maliacane Voicemail Malia Left on MJ’s Phone
“Hey! You need to answer your phone! I told you 45 minutes ago I’d be here in 45 minutes. I’m in Austin. I don’t know where the fuck to go.
I’m going to give you 10 minutes to call me back and then I’m just going to say fuck it to everything. Seriously, like I don’t understand what you’re doing. You knew I was going to be here around this time.”
“Baby, I want you to go out there and hit the pace car.” – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/iwantyoutogooutthereandhitthepacecar/