Malia: I love you!
MJ: I love you too. Did I do something good to deserve an I love you?
Malia: I love you and I can tell you that I love you anytime I want to, can’t I?
MJ: Of course my love. I’m stressed out.
Malia: Stress isn’t good baby. We need to find a stress solution.
MJ: Being able to work would help my stress level.
Malia: I have some ideas to lower your stress level.
MJ: Oh yeah? Like what?
MJ: “Stuff” like yesterday?
Malia: Today is “Things”. Yesterday was “Stuff”.
MJ: I really liked “Stuff”. Are “Things” similar?
Malia: Yes it is! Stuff was creative non vaginal body pleasure. Things is oral focused. I think your c@$k is under sucked. It needs to be sucked back to the level it should be at.
MJ: I meant Things. Stuff was still on my mind today because of how good it was.
Malia: If you liked Stuff, you are going to like Things!
Malia: If you play your cards right and I feel up to it, maybe tomorrow we can do that thing you like. Yes or no?
MJ: Yes! HELL YES!
Malia: I want you to feel satisfied. I am sorry I didn’t make sure you were good baby.
MJ: Baby! I was good. I am good. You know I wasn’t complaining, right?
Malia: I do, but I believe in the happy husband theory.
MJ: What is the happy husband theory?
Malia: Happy husband, happy life.
MJ: Isn’t it happy wife, happy life?
Malia: Yes, but nothing rhymes with husband. Just go with it. I will be at your door in 2 min
MJ: No! Don’t do that. I’ll come to you.
Malia: Why? Whatcha hidden in there?
MJ: The tech guys are here from CIA installing everything. The installers called it MJIA.
Malia: MJ Intelligence Agency?
Malia: That’s awesome! They are stealthy. I haven’t heard any construction hammering or anything.
MJ: I am happy CIA was so accommodating. Now I will have all of the tools to work from home most of the time, so I won’t have to travel that much
Malia: Yay! I love you so much right now!
MJ: Just right now?
Malia: Right now and later. Where do you want your Thing sucked?
MJ: Our bedroom please. There are only 2 drawbacks.
Malia: Ugh! What are the drawbacks?
MJ: MJIA will have a 24/7/365 security team, and no one can enter unless they have high level clearance.
Malia: And me, right?
MJ: Don’t hate me, but you can’t either. It’s a matter of national security
Malia: Of course, everything with you has to be different. Most men have a Man Cave. My man has an Intelligence Agency. My freakin back yard is top secret.
MJ: It’s the tradeoff for me being home more. Please don’t be upset. I want to be home more. You want me home more. And it has no effect on our lives other than my office and the garage underneath are MJIA.
Malia: Can I go in the garage part of MJIA?
MJ: No. It’s going to be turned into living quarters for the security.
Malia: Are they paying rent to stay on my property?
MJ: Probably something, but I don’t know.
Malia: Our house is our house though, no MJIA in here right?
MJ: Our house is our house. No MJIA.
Malia: I guess I can live with this.
MJ: It’s this or I have to travel.
Malia: I like it when you are home. I am okay with this.
MJ: They are being accommodating as hell. They have never done this for anyone else.
Malia: That’s cuzz you are the best baby!
MJ: Well thank you sweetheart.
Malia: We can’t have any more go surprise daddy in his office visits. Are they going to put land mines in the yard? I’m kidding, but please say no.
MJ: No landmines. I think they are going to make the rock wall fence higher and build a guard center by the front gate though.
Malia: Why does this all feel normal at this point?
MJ: Trust me. I get it. I’m sorry.
Malia: You don’t have to apologize. I know what I signed up for. I know what you do is important.
Malia: OMG! Now I hear the construction. Do you still want to do Things with all that racket going on?
MJ: You sound like an old man. “All that racket going on out there”.
Malia: You better hurry, and we better hurry. This noise is not helpful to baby and toddler napping.
MJ: Do you still want to? Not trying to talk you out of it. I want it, but if you aren’t in the mood anymore, I get it.
Malia: I can give you a War Job. That is a blow job during what sounds like war is going on.
Malia: I’m War Job Ready!
“Stuff” – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/stuff/