Personal Life

Triple Double Date With The President Vice President and Gender Neutral Toys

Malia and MJ Bethesda Maryland House Black Barbie Hulk Hogan VPOTUS POTUS and Clydes Collage

Malia: Baby, did you see the email from Brittany?

MJ: Which one?

Malia: The one about President Biden and the first lady coming to eat at our house? 

MJ: No. When is that happening?

Malia: Kamala text me. She told the President about it and he asked if he and Mrs. Biden could come to. 

MJ: I don’t care. Clyde’s is still catering the food that night, right? 

Malia: They want to bring the food to treat you/us. 

MJ: In that case no. 

Malia: You want me to tell Kamala it is ok for her and her husband to come over for dinner, but it is not ok for the President and his wife to join us? 

MJ: Yes.

Malia: Why can’t the President and First Lady come?

MJ: I don’t care if they come, but I told Tom he could cater.

Malia: I love you and you drive me crazy at the same time.

MJ: I’m sorry baby. I’m not trying to be difficult, but Tom Meyer is my/our friend, and I promised him Clyde’s could cater that night. Vice President Harris’s people already approved. 

Malia: I text Kamala. She said the President wants to have the White House cook prepare our food and cater the evening that night. 

MJ: No.

Malia: Michael David Johnson! Do not mess this up for me! I really like Kamala, and I want our double date to happen. 

MJ: Baby, I’m not trying to mess up our double date. I just don’t want to break my/our word to our friend, that his restaurant could cater. 

Malia: I text your text about keeping your word to your/our friend Tom Meyer, that his restaurant could cater for us that night to Kamala. She text back she understands, and she is going to talk to the President about it.

MJ: Cool. I promise I’m not trying to be difficult. I know how much this means to you. I just don’t want to break my/our word to our friend. 

Malia: I know baby. I admire your loyalty. Brittany said you would do this. She said you would not break your word to Tom, just to accommodate the President. 

MJ: Well, she was right. 

Malia: What if I asked you to give in to what the President wants, and let the White House cater our meal? Would you accommodate me?

MJ: Yes. You are the center of my universe. I would burn in hell for you Malia.

Malia: I feel the same way about you, and I would never ask you to compromise your principles. I just wanted to hear you say you would do it for me.

MJ: I’m not happy about it, but I can call Tom and cancel. I want to find a way to make it up to him though. He was going to go all out for us that night. 

Malia: Don’t call Tom. We’re having Clyde’s cater that night, even if it is just you and me. 

MJ: I love you more than anything babycakes! I asked you if we could have Tom cater that night, because I know he would do an amazing job, and it would make you look good to your new friend. Thank you for not forcing me to cancel. I hate breaking my word. If there was an emergency or something, and we had to cancel, that’s understandable, but other than that, I don’t think we should. 

Malia: OMG! I like her even more now! 

MJ: Huh? Who? 

Malia: She told President Biden to give in to what you wanted, because it was the right thing to do. She told him stepping on your toes is not a good way to say thank you to you, for helping him/them get elected. 

MJ: I was ready to give in to make you happy. 

Malia: I was ready to not give in to make you happy. 

MJ: Thank you sweetheart. So, are they all coming? Is it a triple double date? 

Malia: Ha. Yeah. It’s a triple double date. 

MJ: I promise I won’t ask about getting our tax rate lowered, and I promise I won’t embarrass you. 

Malia: There is one other thing. Ashhole and his wife want to come too. Is it okay with you? 

MJ: Really? I know we made peace and all, but it is going take a while before all of the bad Ashton Carter memories out of my head. Only time can heal those wounds. 

Malia: I was only kidding about Ashhole/Ashton Carter and his wife coming. 

MJ: Thank God! 

Malia: I’m just keeping you on your toes.

MJ: I love you feisty girl. 

Malia: I love you too silly boy.

Malia: Hey, what are your thoughts on gender neutral toys? 

MJ: Huh? What are gender neutral toys?

Malia: Gender neutral toys are toys that don’t reinforce gender stereotypes. 

MJ: I don’t think I have any thoughts on gender neutral toys. I’m not really sure what they are. 

Malia: Do you support the gender neutral movement in general? 

MJ: I didn’t know there was a gender neutral movement. I have to learn about it before I can say if I support it or not.

Malia: How do you not know if you support the gender neutral movement? 

MJ: Baby, I have been dealing with important top secret national security matters. Please don’t make a big deal out of toys right now. I trust your judgment on toys. 

Malia: I am watching a show about gender neutral toys. I was just going to play a practical joke on you, but I can tell you are stressed out, so I won’t. 

MJ: Without knowing that much about gender neutral toys, here are my thoughts. I think it is a parent’s choice when it comes to toys. If parents are good parents, who take good care of their kids, whatever kind of toys they buy are up to them, and it isn’t anyone else’s business. 

Malia: I’m thinking we have a combination of gender neutral and non-gender neutral toys. That way our kids know all sides. 

MJ: Sounds good to me.

Malia: They are saying toys like GI Joe are offensive. Didn’t you have GI Joe toys when you were a kid? 

MJ: I did have GI Joe toys when I was a kid. I loved my GI Joe toys. GI Joe’s are supposed to be offensive, to bad guys! GI Joe’s stood up for what was right, and they protected the regular toys from the bad guy toys. 

Malia: What about GI Jane toys? 

MJ: What about them?

Malia: Do you support GI Jane toys, or just GI Joe toys? 

MJ: I was a boy. I only had GI Joe toys. Depending on my age at the time, girls may or may not have still had cooties. That said, GI Joe had girls/woman on their team. My mom wanted me to know girl GI Joe’s were important too. When I was a little bit older, my next door neighbor Meredith was either Scarlett or Lady Jay, when we played GI Joe’s. We played Barbie too. 

Malia: I love your mom. When you and Meredith played Barbie, were you Ken? 

MJ: Hell no! When we played Barbie, I was either Hulk Hogan, Duke from GI Joe, or Sgt. Slaughter, who was a wrestler and a GI Joe.

Malia: Hulk Hogan, Duke, and Sgt Slaughter aren’t part of Barbie’s toys. 

MJ: I don’t know. I guess I didn’t like being Ken. Ken was a doll. He couldn’t do anything. I liked being action figures who could move and do stuff.

Malia: Let me guess. Did Cobra Commander try to attack Barbie’s doll house, to kidnap her, and Ken wasn’t cool enough to protect her and her doll house? 

MJ: Exactly! Meredith was cool with it. In our little kid play world, it only seemed logical that Barbie and Hulk Hogan got married and had little baby Hulkamaniacs. 

Malia: I love you. Are you cool with gender neutral GI Joe/Jane? 

MJ: What does that mean? Does the toy have both a penis and a vagina, and you can switch it back and forth? “GI Shapeshifter”. 

Malia: You passed my gender neutral toys test. 

MJ: What are you talking about?

Malia: I just wanted to see if you were inclusive of all. 

MJ: What about Ken? I wasn’t inclusive of Ken. Would your girl Barbie toy have wanted to marry Ken? 

Malia: Ken was a poser. My girl Barbie wasn’t meant to be with Ken. My girl Barbie would have wanted to be with your Hulk Hogan action figure.

MJ: Cool. In all seriousness, I don’t care which GI gender Joe/Jane toys we get. They will know which toys they like and want. 

Malia: Agreed. 

MJ: I gotta go my love. I will see you tonight. I may be home late. We have a lot to get done.

Malia: K. I will wait up for you. I love you and bye. 

MJ: Sounds good. Thank you. My mom will be here tomorrow, right? 

Malia: Un huh. 

MJ: Awesome!

President and Vice President Elect Invite “MJ The Terrible” To Meet and Greet To Say Thank You –

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About Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

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