WTF Is Postnatal Coitus?
Malia: I love your Cheetos post. Great memories! This is my favorite Cheetos picture of us. Thinking about our Cheetos moments makes me want to have more Cheetos moments.
Malia: Are you in the mood for some postnatal coitus?
Malia: Sex baby! Sex! Postnatal coitus is a fancy medical term for having sex after giving birth.
MJ: I am definitely in the mood for some postnatal coitus action in 2 weeks.
Malia: What about in 2 minutes?
MJ: I thought the doctor said 6 weeks?
Malia: She said 4 to 6 weeks or when I am ready, but wait at least 3 weeks. Did you leave already?
MJ: In the driveway.
Malia: The babies will be up soon.
MJ: I am in the mood. Coitus quickie?
Malia: Sure! Let’s take it slow though.
MJ: I don’t understand. Quickies are by definition quick. We can wait baby. I don’t want to hurt your business down there. I can be patient.
Malia: I meant quickie as in done quickly, but don’t drill me like you are drilling for oil.
MJ: Got it! A slicky.
Malia: A sticky?
MJ: A slow quickie.
Malia: Yeah, a slicky to start the day off right.
MJ: Post natal slicky action 2 minute warning.
Malia: Bring the heat Johnson!
MJ: I thought slicky?
Malia: We will figure it out. Now bring your skinny white butt up here. Sorry Mr. Keith. You can listen to your angry old white man radio station a little longer while we do our thing. Jk Mr. Keith. 🙂 You are the best. Thank you for coming with us to Maryland.